Monday, 30 April 2012

Don't leave.

The people in your life want you there.

Depression Lies.

I love her blog.  The Bloggess

I love her book.  Let's Pretend This Never Happened

I love her courage in being open about mental illness.

She's funny as hell but when she's serious she's a champion for all of us living with mental illness.

Don't ever leave Jenny and I'll do my best not to leave either.

Friday, 27 April 2012

Diva Night Cupcakes!

I was going to title this blog "Diva Cups" but then you'd think it was all about my womanly cycle and thought better of it.

Tonight was Diva night in Port Perry.  Basically all the shops were open late and most were offering discounts but what I was looking forward to the most was the professional drag queen performance!

Yeah.  It was a let down. 

I had more fun watching the drag queens at an Oshawa gay club.

I have to say she was gorgeous though and it was so cute the way she had the kids and one granny on "stage" (the steps in front of a floral shop), bopping away to Beyonce with her. 

So anyways,  I was itchin' to get my drag queen fix and ready to get fabulous so what did I do???

I totally baked Diva Night Cupcakes!!!

Those are homemade cherry chip cupcakes with the left over homemade buttercream icing from my birthday. 

Don't ask me why I did such a weird icing pattern.  I don't know what to tell you there.  It sorta looks like a brain/boobie accident. 

I don't even know what else to say about that.

They were good though.

Ahhhh Diva were good to me.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

The Universe told me to buy these...I swear...

So I got some birthday money from my Mom of which I'm so thankful for since I'm so poor.

Most of it will be used in very practical ways out of necessity but on a trip to Canadian Tire the other day I spotted something that make me stop in my tracks and exclaim, "OMG, THAT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THE PRICE OF THOSE!!!!"

I'm talkin' about dishes.

Red ones.

I've had the same dish set from IKEA for about 11 years.  It's old, it's chipped, but still serviceable yanno?  Sure the teacups are too small and the bowls are too shallow to be really useful but who cares, it's not like I'm livin' large here.

But then I saw those red dishes at a rock bottom price and I was like a kid in the cereal isle.

A complete set of 4 place settings with large mugs for only $24.99.

Oh and did I mention they're RED?

I bought one set on impulse went home and got all angsty about spending money on something that was frivolous.  Then I thought, well it IS birthday money so why can't I buy just one thing that I like?  Plus I just did 2 years of tax returns that are going to turn out well so it's like the universe was practically telling me to go ahead and buy the frikken dishes.

And who am I to go against the universe?

But then I had a plan.  I went through my filing cabinet and pulled out a wad of Canadian Tire money that added up to just over $10.00 (thanks to about 35 cents from Dave T).

So you know what I did next?  I went back to Canadian Tire and bought the other set of red dishes giving me me a complete set of 8 place settings for $40.00!!! 

Plus I had more than 8 place settings of the old dishes so I managed to salvage enough of the old stuff to make up a complete set of 8 slightly worn out looking dishes that I'll try to yard sale.  If they don't go in a yard sale then I'll just donate them, thus hopefully contributing to good karma.


 Thanks Mom!!!!

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Feel the sugar rush my friends...

Guess who wanted home made pink buttercream icing on her birthday cake this year?


So I made it :-)

Ooooooooooooooh Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I bet you can feel the sugar rush through your screen right now.

Holy Hell! UPDATED

I'm now 40.

I'm celebrating at the moment with hives.

Go me.

*scratch, scratch, scratch*


I would like to update this to say that apparently I was lying.

Sheila has pointed out to me that I, in fact, was in LA yesterday hanging out with the Bloggess and the author of the Twilight books (sorry George Takei, some things I can't control).


I know, I know...y'all want to hang with me now that I'm chillin' out with famous people.

I'll have my people contact your people.

kiss, kiss

Update:  Ok, just to be clear, the redhead in the picture IS NOT ACTUALLY ME...hahahaa.  I live in a small town in Ontario, Canada but my friend pointed out that the woman in the picture looked EXACTLY like me and I thought it was funny.   There's been a little confusion over this which I actually find hysterical but I figured I should do the proper thing and set the record straight.

Thursday, 19 April 2012


So I was perusing one of my favourite sites and I come across this...

I know I turn 40 on Sunday but WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Funny fact:  I walk through a graveyard almost every day.

Also, bacon.

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

I enjoy looking at him...

...even though he's creepy as fuck right here!

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS MOVIE COMES OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prometheus!  June 8th!

Monday, 16 April 2012

For posterity

This is the biggest green pepper I have ever seen.

It's not merely tall.  It's wide as well.

Can you imagine if peppers had Olympic Games?  The doping committee would be all over this pepper's ass.  There would be allegations that it's Miracle Grow was laced with illicit substances and the tabloids would go wild.

There were even two baby peppers growing inside it when I ruthlessly chopped it open but I'll spare you the sight...

Maybe this pepper was a mole on the jolly green giant?

Think about it...

Why yes...I DO spank my tortillas.

It wasn't exactly baking but I made homemade flour tortillas again today.

It always seems like such an AWESOMELY EXCELLENT idea when I start.

You know the stages of grieving?

Well I've found that making tortillas has stages as well.


Stage 2:  Assemble ingredients, make the dough, separate dough into balls and set to rise.  Survey the carnage and say happily and with much determination, "it's ok, I'll clean it up later".

Stage 3:  After the dough has rested for the required hour (it doesn't really rise), get out more flour, the rolling pin, the nonstick pan, and make sure the music is playing because once you start the process  you can't really stop.

Stage 4:  You're still excited to go through with this you poor, silly fool.

Stage 5:  Roll out the first one and plop it in the pan to dry fry.

Stage 6:  Feel a little smug that you're making homemade tortillas that will taste so much better than the store bought ones.

Stage 7:  Stop feeling smug and realize you've got the get the next one rolled out while the first one is cooking.

Stage 8:  Realize you've got the pan too hot.  Fuck.  Put that one aside for the dog.

Stage 9:  Adjust the temperature and get right down to business humming along with the music and having fun with your own personal assembly line of roll one out, flip, the one in the pan, spank the excess flour off of the next one to go into the pan, and repeat.

Stage 10:  You starting to get tired now aren't you?  You look over at your tray of dough balls and realize you're only half way through them.

Stage 11:  You roll one out that looks like a Base ship from Galactica and giggle.

Stage 12:  You look over at the one in the pan and it's blown up like a big balloon and you look over at your dog, hold up your arms and say, "eeeeeet's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!".

Stage 13:  You keep going but the next ones are pretty plain and some even annoy you by sticking to the rolling pin.  You start thinking how cheap it is to actually buy a package of tortillas.

Stage 14:  Can't slow down...gotta keep up the pace...roll, flip, spank....roll, flip, spank...

Stage 15:  OMG it's getting hot over the stove and my head itches.  MUST.NOT.SCRATCH.  Can't dirty my hands now...gotta keep going.

Stage 16:  Getting tired of having to wipe the burning excess flour (that didn't come off in the spanking process) out of the pan every so often.  My apartment now smells like burning flour.

Stage 17:  Sweet Jesus there's flour everywhere.  I wonder if you can die from inhaling too much flour.   I wonder to myself if I went out and got stopped by a cop right now, would he/she think I was snorting coke?

Stage 18:  Oh god no more...back's much flour...but they'll taste soooo frikken good.

Stage 19:  Look over at the tray....there's only a few left.   I look at my dog and say, "WE'RE IN THE HOME STRETCH BUDDY!"

Stage 20:  Finally the last one is in the pan.   I survey the tortilla aftermath in my kitchen.  There's a thick coating of flour everywhere.  I know the mess will take FOREVER to clean up and I wonder why I bother doing this.

 Stage 21:  I take one off the stack, rip it in half, give half to the dog and try the other half.  OMG THESE ARE SO FREAKING AMAZING!!!!!  NO WONDER I LOVE TO MAKE THESE SO MUCH!!! 

Stage 22:  Eat dinner.  Lap up compliments.  Think to myself, " I should make these more often".

Stage 23:  Come back downstairs to my apartment for the night, look again at the tortilla aftermath in the kitchen and realize there's no way you're going to clean it up tonight.  Fuck it.  It can wait until tomorrow.

This is what tortilla aftermath looks like.

They were really good.

I'd post the recipe but I'm too tired.

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

ennui cat amuses me

That's a serious milkshake!

I haven't baked in AGES.  I'm in a funk.

This whole medication re-arranging is screwin' with me a bit.  Plus who needs to bake when there's Easter chocolate lying around!

You know what though?  I'm also full of indecision.  I want to bake something new, something I haven't tried before, but I don't know what.  So many recipes look good but I just don't have the urge, yanno?

And I have no funny stories at the moment.


Everything is just so serious lately.  I  miss blogging about silly things and baking. 

I have a serious lack of inspiration going on.

Maybe this will help.  I cannot believe Dave T had never heard this before.

I blame my friend Sammy (not my dog) for posting this,



Sunday, 8 April 2012

Easter Nacho Extravaganza!

I may or may not have eaten some moldy maple syrup this morning. 

If I don't blog again you know what happened.

I could die.


But before I do, I had to have my EASTER NACHO EXTRAVAGANZA!

Ok, here is where I admit that this picture is totally staged.  I had already stuffed myself full of nachos at this point and then decided I should have a picture of my nacho feast.   As usual, I made twice as much food as this because I am a dork. 

Or maybe I'm a secret genius!

I knew I was going to only eat one plate but I shredded so much cheese and cooked enough beef for two.  Instead of putting it away I decided to make the whole thing anyway and just eat the leftovers tomorrow. 

So bam!  Now I have a pic of  my Easter feast even after I had already stuffed my face.

I'd like to point out that under the cheese there is beef, onions, tomatoes, and yellow peppers. 


They tasted a lot better than they looked.

I didn't have to spend this Easter alone but I chose to and it's been nice and relaxing.

I'm so full!

Thursday, 5 April 2012

There are no cookies that can fix this...

I dreamed of him last late husband.

It  has been 837 days since he died at the age of 38.  It has been 837 days since I became a widow at the age of 37. 

For over two years I've dreamed of him usually twice a week.  There are 2 kinds of dreams with him.  I either dream about the time when he's sick and dying or I dream that he somehow recovers but doesn't want me in his life anymore.

Either way I lose him.

Last night was the first time in over two years I dreamed that he somehow came back to life and still wanted to be with me.  We held each other tight, we cried...I had so many many things to say that I've figured out since he died.  He told me he loved me.  We could not let go of each other.  He said that for him it was like falling asleep and waking up again.  I know that he suffered but somehow  he didn't remember it.

There were so many tears shed from me and he just held me and told me over and over again that he loved me and he was here again.

I didn't want to wake up.

While I was asleep, I could still be with him.

I miss him so much.  I wish I could believe that he hears me when I talk to him every night.

It felt so good to dream that he was there and that he still loved me but waking up to the reality of him dead was cruel.  I guess it's less cruel than dreaming he doesn't want me anymore.  There's a part of me that is very grateful that I finally dreamed of him cancer free and still loving me.

 I still don't want anyone else.

There are no cookies that can fix this.

Monday, 2 April 2012

I sorta feel bad about liking this so much...

You must listen to it with the sound on to understand why it tickles me so much. 

I really do hope the baby bacon...err...piglet is ok.

OMG I'm getting so confused!  I love bacon so I shouldn't find them so cute.  But I do find them so cute so I should feel bad that the piglet goes flying and makes an utterly adorable sound. 

My mind just exploded.

This is why I stick to baking.

Sunday, 1 April 2012

the neighbourhood's other extreme redhead

My friend and I were taking my dog Sam for a walk today and at one point we looked up to see about 10 turkey vultures in a tree right above our heads peering down at us creepily before they flew off.

Have you ever seen a turkey vulture?

They look like this,

Imagine about 10 of those staring down at you.  And they're huge.

Can you imagine if vultures had a sexiest vulture competition and this was the winner?  All other vultures would be like, "I was robbed man, his nostrils are asymmetrical and shit, my forehead wrinkles and devil skin head has all the ladies throwing rotted meat my way".

Then of course Mr. Sexiest Vulture Alive would play it all cool and laugh and preen like it was no big deal but secretly he'd have a gang of vultures to follow him a round and compliment him on the ratio of his head size to his wing span.

I gotta tell ya though vultures, from one extreme redhead to another....I like you better when you're soaring above me and not perched right above my head  peering down at me.