My friend and I were taking my dog Sam for a walk today and at one point we looked up to see about 10 turkey vultures in a tree right above our heads peering down at us creepily before they flew off.
Have you ever seen a turkey vulture?
They look like this,
Imagine about 10 of those staring down at you. And they're huge.
Can you imagine if vultures had a sexiest vulture competition and this was the winner? All other vultures would be like, "I was robbed man, his nostrils are asymmetrical and shit, my forehead wrinkles and devil skin head has all the ladies throwing rotted meat my way".
Then of course Mr. Sexiest Vulture Alive would play it all cool and laugh and preen like it was no big deal but secretly he'd have a gang of vultures to follow him a round and compliment him on the ratio of his head size to his wing span.
I gotta tell ya though vultures, from one extreme redhead to another....I like you better when you're soaring above me and not perched right above my head peering down at me.